What Every Woman Should Be Able to Say

What Every Woman Should Be Able to Say

Lauren’s Interview with Real Simple Magazine's Melanie Mannarino

What did you say the last time someone paid you a compliment? If it was anything other than “Thank you,” keep reading. “Many people feel so uncomfortable with compliments that they’ll put themselves down,” says Lauren Mackler, life/relationship/career coach and author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. “They’ll respond with, ‘Oh this old thing,’ or ‘It’s fake!’” Mackler says you can learn to accept the praise—enjoy it even—and respond accordingly. “Pay attention to your reaction when you’re complimented,” she says. “How do you feel physically and emotionally: Does your face burn? Do you feel embarrassed? That’s your cue to change your story.”

Recipe for Optimal Living

Recipe for Optimal Living

TRUST YOUR INTUITION
Your intuition is your instinctive knowing about whether something’s right or wrong for you. It’s part of your innate human nature and a practical tool for honoring who you really are. To develop your intuition, start paying attention to it. When you have to make a decision, ask yourself: How does this feel for me? Is this what I should be doing? Use your intuition to help you create the life you want and to avoid situations that are detrimental to you.

1/23/16 The Work You're Born to Do

1/23/16 The Work You're Born to Do

Many people end up in dissatisfying careers because they never clarified the “work they were born to do”—work that leverages their innate strengths and passions, and brings purpose to their lives. Renowned coach, CNN commentator, best-selling author of “Solemate” and co-author of “Speaking of Success” with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey, Lauren Mackler, teaches you how to unearth your innate strengths and clarify the work that you were born to do. For more information and registration, click here!

Make New Year's Resolutions Stick!

Make New Year's Resolutions Stick!

At the New Year, many people make resolutions for change. In fact, many of those resolutions are the same ones year after year! Yours may be to make positive changes in your personal life, improve your partnership or marriage, find a more fulfilling career, or become a better leader.

In my work, I often talk about 3 critical success factors for change. The first one is to Live Boldly, summoning the courage to challenge your status quo and step out your comfort zone. The second is to Live Intentionally, having a clear vision of what you want. The third is to Live Strategically, identifying and taking the actions needed to bring your vision to reality.

These 3 components are interdependent with each other and requirements for achieving any type of change or goal—something that took me quite a while to learn.

Family Sanity for the Holidays

Family Sanity for the Holidays

Out of all the relationships we have in our lives, the ones we share with family members can be the most challenging. And there’s nothing like holiday stress to trigger the old wounds and unresolved issues that plague so many families. Sharing close, loving, and supportive relationships is a basic human need, yet many of our family relationships fall short of this ideal.

Lauren in the News

Lauren in the News

Working for a superstar boss can be a career-making move for loyal lieutenants. But when that boss gets a better job somewhere else, does it pay to follow? Following can be a career boost, but betting on a superstar’s next success also has its risks. In this article in The Wall Street Journalreporter Joann Lublin interviews Lauren Mackler and other experts about the pros and cons of following your boss to a new job. To read the article in The Wall Street Journal, click here

Lauren Mackler's New Website!

Lauren Mackler's New Website!

After seven months in the making, I’m thrilled to announce the launch of my new web site laurenmackler.com! The new site offers several new features. My Live Boldly Blog is now part of the actual site (located under the Resources navigation tab), my Upcoming Events can be found in The Buzz, and my professional services are all listed in The Work.

I hope you’ll take a moment to visit my new website and enjoy the videos, articles, and other resources that are all designed to help individuals, couples, groups, and companies to “live boldly”— liberate their potential and achieve the vision to which they aspire!

Workshop at Kripalu! 11/13-15, 2015

Workshop at Kripalu! 11/13-15, 2015

SOLEMATE: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life!
with Lauren Mackler

For people who are single, divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.

Take a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re single or in a relationship. World-renowned coach Lauren Mackler inspires you to become the partner you seek, instead of depending on someone else to make you whole.

Using experiential exercises, visualization, journaling, and short lectures, this groundbreaking experience gives you the tools to...

The Art of Resiliency

The Art of Resiliency

Like many life skills, resiliency is something we all need but which most people never learned to cultivate. In this LIFE KEYS archive from Hay House Radio, host bestselling author Lauren Mackler and her guest Dr. Joan Borysenko discuss ways to develop resilience, and use it as an inner resource for meeting the demands of daily life, managing change, and overcoming adversity.

Become Who You Already Are

openarms-300x225 Each of us comes into this world as a whole, integrated human being. We’re born with innate personality traits, natural strengths and talents, and tremendous potential. Growing up, we respond to our life conditioning by adopting habitual roles, beliefs, and behaviors that often diminish our potential. These patterns follow us into adulthood, and they shape our feelings about ourselves, our personal lives, our relationships, and our careers.

A foundational element of my work is to help people uncover the patterns that keep a lid on their potential, identify the roots of these patterns, and take action to transform them. This involves identifying the innate personality traits, strengths, and potential of their Authentic Self (the person they were born to be) and the limiting role, beliefs, and behaviors of their Conditioned Self (the person they learned to be).

The next step is to develop strategies for change. This entails learning how to think and act by conscious deliberation versus by automatic default. Living by deliberation means intentionally aligning your thoughts, behaviors, and choices with the outcomes you’re trying to achieve. When you’re living by default, you’re reacting on autopilot from old, conditioned patterns. And while those patterns may have served you in your environment growing up, they’re usually not very effective in producing the results you want as an adult.

Letting your Conditioned Self run your life is like continuously swimming upstream. It depletes your energy, stifles your strengths, keeps you settling for less than what you’re capable of creating, and undermines your relationships with others. Over time, the chronic stress it produces can even weaken your immune system and compromise your physical health and well-being.

Shedding the shackles of your life conditioning and liberating who you really are is a life-changing process. Instead of your energy being consumed by trying to be perfect, berating yourself, living up to other’s expectations, avoiding failure, dealing with conflict, numbing your pain, or managing fear, it’s available to let you discover what you enjoy, take new risks, pursue your dreams, share positive relationships, and create the personal and professional life to which you aspire.

This type of inner work—delving into the roots of your limiting patterns and taking action to produce tangible, lasting change—can be challenging, uncomfortable, and even painful. But the years that I’ve been doing this work—and the transformative results I’ve seen over and over again—has taught me two very important things: the only way out is through and the rewards are well-worth the journey.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2013 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach and author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. www.laurenmackler.com

 

The Art of Aloneness at Esalen

SOLEMATE: MASTERING THE ART OF ALONENESS April 12–14, 2013 Friday–Sunday

Weekend Workshop at Esalen in Big Sur, CA

With Lauren Mackler

“Solemate…is learning to be present with yourself—to know yourself intimately and deeply—is necessary for an authentic relationship of any kind.” -Joan Borysenko, Author of “Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive”

Each of us comes into the world as a whole human being with tremendous potential. Growing up, we adopt habitual thought and behavior patterns, many of which erode our innate wholeness. We carry these patterns into adulthood, and they shape our feelings about ourselves, our relationships, our personal lives, and our careers. Mastering the Art of Aloneness is designed to help you break free of the shackles of your life conditioning, reclaim your innate wholeness, and become who you were born to be. Created by Lauren Mackler, bestselling author of Solemate, this experiential workshop provides practical tools to help you:

*Move beyond fear and transform limiting beliefs and behaviors

*Reclaim your innate wholeness

*Build a loving relationship with yourself

*Design your Life Vision and the steps to achieve it

This workshop is designed for people who are single, divorced, or in a partnership, and who aspire to a greater sense of wholeness, self-mastery, and well-being in their relationship with themselves and with others.

Lauren Mackler is a renowned coach and teacher whose first book, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life, became an instant international best-seller. Creator of the Illumineering Coaching method, she has inspired people across the globe to transform their lives. Lauren brings her wisdom and workshops to audiences throughout the world, and her work has been covered widely in the media, including CNN, Fox, NPR, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Whole Living, Real Simple, and many other media. www.laurenmackler.com

For more information and registration, click here!

Liberating Your Authentic Self

 

Carl Jung, a colleague of Sigmund Freud and the founder of analytical psychology, first introduced the concept of psychological type in the 1920s with the idea that there are two basic attitude types—extroverts and introverts—and what he called the four functions of consciousness: thinking, feeling, sensing, and intuiting. Jung was the first to fully develop the idea that different people have different ways of perceiving and approaching the world, and that these differences are innate. For example, one person may use thought as a guide to making decisions, while another will follow their feelings. By identifying different psychological types, Jung laid the foundation for our modern-day understanding of personality.

Like Jung, I believe that we all have innate personality traits and temperaments. Most parents will tell you that they can identify traits in their own children from birth—distinct temperaments and predispositions. Some toddlers, for example, are quiet and still, hanging back, observing everything around them. Others jump into the fray feet first, full of energy and enthusiasm. However, research on twins reared apart, conducted over the past 30 years at the Minnesota Center for Twin and Family Research (University of Minnesota) by professor Thomas J. Bouchard, Jr. and his team, provides perhaps the most powerful evidence of innate personalities. In research originally published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 1988 and discussed at length in a New Yorker piece published in 1995, the Minnesota team assessed twin pairs for personality characteristics such as a “sense of well-being, social dominance, alienation, aggression, and achievement . . . They concluded that identical twins reared apart were as much alike as identicals reared together.” The Minnesota twin studies, combined with a slew of other studies conducted over the past two decades, provide ample evidence that we are born with certain personality characteristics.

Part of retrieving your authentic self involves identifying your innate personality traits, the characteristics you were born with that may have been suppressed through your life conditioning. For example, you may be more innately extroverted—more outwardly than inwardly directed. But say you grew up with a father who was an alcoholic and he’d fly into rages when he was drinking. Your coping mechanism may have involved staying below the radar screen and not making a peep. You withdrew from the world, a characteristic that’s in conflict with your true nature. In my coaching work, as part of the process of identifying clients’ innate personality characteristics, I use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a popular personality test developed by Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers in the 1940s based on Carl Jung’s theories. Since its inception, millions of people have taken the MBTI assessment, and it’s been updated and refined through ongoing research. The results are remarkably comprehensive and illuminating. But while the MBTI tool is valuable for helping people understand their innate natures, it is only one piece of the puzzle.

Unearthing your authentic self also involves identifying your true passions and strengths, as well as your interests and life purpose. I believe that we all have an inborn purpose, and fulfilling that purpose is critical to the quality of our lives and our sense of well-being. To be able to live from your authentic self you have to first know who you really are. What do you feel strongly about? What captures your interest? What inspires and motivates you? What is the contribution you’d like to be making in the world?

The process of retrieving and liberating the authentic self involves a good bit of detective work. Each of us is unique, and the formula for finding that uniqueness can be as individual as we are. But achieving that understanding can be transformational. As D. H. Lawrence wrote, “You’ve got to know yourself so that you can at last be yourself.”

Are you ready to liberate who you were born to be? Join Lauren 3/15-17, 2013 at Kripalu in Lenox, MA for the LIVE BOLDLY & LIBERATE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF weekend workshop! For info and registration, click here.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2013 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach, psychotherapist, and author of the international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. Sign up for her free Live Boldly e-newsletter at www.laurenmackler.com.

Live Boldly! - Santa Monica, CA 1/3/13

Live Boldly & Liberate Your Authentic Self! What would you do if you knew you could not fail—if you were free from the fears, limiting beliefs, and habitual behaviors that keep you stuck? In this life-changing, FREE presentation, coach and international bestselling author of Solemate, Lauren Mackler, uncovers the hidden drivers that keep people from living the lives to which they aspire. Participants learn about the "potential blockers" that hold people captive in unfulfilling personal lives, careers, and relationships, and practical tools for moving through these blocks to liberate their potential and become the person they were born to be. The event is free, but seating is limited on a first-come basis.

January 3, 2013, 7:00 pm-8:00 pm Santa Monica Library 2601 Main Street Santa Monica, CA

To pre-register, send an email to info@laurenmackler.com.