Live Boldly Blog
Illumineering Coaching and Psychotherapy (via Skype or Zoom)
This is a challenging time for everyone. If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out. For those facing financial challenges, I’m offering a sliding scale and fee assistance. Services are for individuals, couples, adult family members, executives, and entrepreneurs. To read more information about my services on Psychology Today, click here. To visit my web site, click here.
One of the ways I am nurturing myself during this time of social distancing, is by listening to music that lifts, moves, empowers, and inspires me. If you should have Pandora, here are 10 stations that are some of my favorites. As a former singer, you’ll notice that my taste tends to be pretty eclectic!
Today I’ve been reflecting on how, as in nearly all crises, there are opportunities inherent in the current global and massive pattern break from life as we knew it. We can experience deeper compassion for ourselves and each other, strengthen our individual and collective resiliency, re-evaluate priorities and lifestyle, live more mindfully, simplify daily life, define who we want to be as a nation and world, and enable our precious Mother Earth to catch her breath.
Anger is a normal and very human emotion. But few people have been taught how to effectively express and manage anger. Instead we learn how to deal with anger by our parents’ role modeling, and by how our parents reacted to our own anger growing up. We may have been taught to rationalize our anger away, blame or verbally attack the person who’s made us angry, or withdraw and avoid the other person—and our anger—altogether.
Manage Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You 3/18/20, 7pm-8:15pm - Whether your emotional “addiction” is to anger, depression, fear, insecurity, or some other emotional pattern, renowned coach and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, will help you better understand the chronic emotions limiting your life, and how to transform them to ones that create a more joyful inner and outer environment.
Boundaries: A Key to Healthy Relationships, 2/19/20, 7pm-8:15pm - THE OPTIMAL LIVING SERIES is a monthly event every 3rd Wednesday, 7pm-8:15pm in Natick, MA. Lauren Mackler and other guest experts share practical tools to enhance your personal life, health, relationships, and career, followed by discussion and networking (each month has a different topic). For people 20s to 80s who aspire to optimal living. Event topic for 2/19/20: Boundaries: A Key to Healthy Relationships.
Valentine’s Day is, for many singles, a holiday to dread instead of one to celebrate. I experienced my own loneliness on more than one Valentine’s Day. Then, many years ago, I had a revelation. I could be my own Valentine!
I know, being your own Valentine might sound like a desperate attempt to soothe the sting of single life. I thought so, too—until I actually experienced it. The first year of becoming my own Valentine, I organized a dinner at a nice restaurant for a group of single men and women. On the invitation, I wrote a request: “buy, have gift-wrapped, and bring to dinner a gift for yourself in recognition of the magnificent person you are.”
It was one of my favorite Valentine’s Day celebrations! We took turns opening our gifts and sharing what we admired about ourselves. Some people were moved to tears, as they realized how hard they usually were on themselves.
Eat Your Chocolate! - Valentine’s Day is nearly here and I have some great news: eating dark chocolate on a regular basis may help reduce your likelihood of developing heart disease. Some of the compounds in dark chocolate, called flavanols, affect two major risk factors for heart disease: high cholesterol and blood pressure. Dark chocolate may also help reduce body inflammation, which is part of the body's natural immune response to germs and other harmful elements. However, chronic inflammation can damage tissues and cells, and can even increase the risk of some health conditions, including arthritis, type two diabetes, and some types of cancer.
SOLEMATE: MASTERING THE ART OF ALONENESS
2/1/20 Introductory Sampler - 3/28/20 9am-6pm One-Day Intensive Workshop
Many people wait for a soul mate to complete them, or settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. In this life-changing, day-long workshop, renowned coach, CNN commentator, bestselling author of “Solemate” and co-author of “Speaking of Success” with Stephen Covey and Jack Canfield, Lauren Mackler, presents her groundbreaking roadmap to achieve mastery of your life, and greater wholeness alone or in relationship. In Natick, MA. Participant number is limited and your spot is confirmed only upon advanced payment of tuition. For those interested in this workshop, a mini sampler is 2/1/20 in Cambridge, MA.
Schedule Some “Me” Time - Open your planner and book a date with yourself. Carving out time for yourself is not selfish. It’s impossible to have good relationships with others if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. After work or on the weekend spend time doing a hobby you enjoy or taking a walk in nature. Reflect on your goals, assess your needs, or do something that makes you feel good. Spend Friday night in your favorite PJ’s with a good movie. Scheduling “me” time is an important part of maintaining healthy physical and mental balance. Making it part of your weekly schedule is a great way to bring self-nurturance and self-care into your life on an on-going basis.
If someone you love is going through a life transition, having relationship issues, seeking a career change, or wanting to further develop themselves personally or professionally, give them the gift of growth with an Illumineering Coaching Gift Certificate!
ABOUT ILLUMINEERING COACHING
When we're born, we are whole human beings with tremendous potential. Growing up, we respond to our conditioning by adopting thought and behavior patterns, some of which limit our potential. These patterns follow us into adulthood, and create our stories about ourselves, relationships, personal lives, and careers. Illumineering is a groundbreaking integration of psychology and coaching to help you create a new story—to liberate your potential and achieve the results you want.
Out of all the relationships we have in our lives, the ones we share with family members can be the most challenging. And there's nothing like holiday stress to trigger the old wounds and unresolved issues that plague so many families.
Sharing close, loving, and supportive relationships is a basic human need, yet many of our family relationships fall short of this ideal. Most families have some level of dysfunction, with each member playing his or her part. Becoming aware of your own family dynamics—and consciously changing behavior patterns that create conflict—will help you avoid the interpersonal "land mines" that are often triggered in the midst of holiday stress. Below are some practical tips to help you make the holidays a time of joyful celebration, instead of fodder for unpleasant family feuds.
Volunteer!
By helping others you help yourself. Volunteering is a great way to be active, socialize, and build confidence. A report by Volunteer Match and United Healthcare showed that 73% of volunteers reported reduced stress levels, 89% said it improved their well-being, and 92% experienced a greater sense of purpose. Serving others boosts your self-esteem and fosters a positive attitude in other areas of your life. People who volunteer regularly have a lower mortality rate and it’s been shown to lessen symptoms of chronic pain and heart disease. There are hundreds of organizations looking for volunteers, especially during the holidays. Your help can really make a difference to them and to you.
FINALLY! For the first time, Lauren Mackler will offer her Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life workshop intensive in the Boston area, at Roots & Wings Healing Center in Natick, MA!
March 28, 2020, 9am-6pm (please note new date)
For people who are single, divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, take a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re living on your own or you’re in a relationship.
Develop Your Inner Nurturing Parent
If you think about it, you may discover that you don’t treat yourself very well. You may break promises to yourself, eat poorly, or engage in unsupportive relationships. In fact, if most people treated others the way they treat themselves, they wouldn’t have too many friends! To begin treating yourself better, here is a tool I write about in Solemate: your “Inner Nurturing Parent.” Instead of judging yourself, send loving messages to yourself like, “I love and appreciate who you are.” When you do something well, pat yourself on the back and say out loud, “Great job! I’m so proud of you.” Get in the habit of doing nice things for yourself. Make a cup of tea with the nurturing energy you’d have when preparing tea for someone you love. Make your bed for yourself every day.
Written by Alexandra Bauermeister; Illustrated by Flora Waycott
I am thrilled to share with you this beautiful yoga and mindfulness book (written by my yoga therapist daughter) that encourages young readers to breathe, slow down, and move into gentle, playful poses as they ease into a practice of meditation. With a gentle reminder for children to breathe and connect to their bodies, the book contains a sweet cast of animal friends to guide young readers from one yoga pose to the next. From reaching your hands up to the sky to stretching like a cat to pressing up like a cobra snake, each posture helps to control breathing, engage in the present moment, and lead towards greater calmness and peacefulness. The soothing, rhythmic text paired with playful illustrations make this book perfect for young readers ready to interact with yoga poses and practice mindfulness.
SOLEMATE: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life
NEW AUDIO BOOK!
This international bestseller, now available as an audiobook, is about mastering aloneness but it’s not about being alone. It's a practical roadmap for achieving mastery of your life so you can have greater wholeness and joy on your own or in a relationship. Based on Lauren’s Mastering the Art of Aloneness workshop, Solemate provides life-changing tools to create and live a fulfilling, successful, and financially secure life with or without a partner.
Anger is a normal and very human emotion. But few people have been taught how to effectively express and manage anger. Instead, we learn how to deal with anger by our parents’ role modeling, and by how our parents reacted to our own anger growing up. We may have been taught to rationalize our anger away, blame or verbally attack the person who “made us” angry, or withdraw and avoid the other person—and our anger—altogether.
In a healthy family, the parents accept anger as a normal emotion that needs to be discharged. But in a family where anger is taboo, those feelings can’t be expressed. If someone grows up in that type of family, they may develop a habit of internalizing their anger. Or they may react by outwardly expressing it in destructive ways—maybe through an explosive temper or through passive-aggressive behavior in which they express anger by being critical, sarcastic, judgmental, or oppositional.
FINALLY! For the first time, Lauren Mackler will offer her Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life workshop intensive in the Boston area, at Roots & Wings Healing Center in Natick, MA!
March 28, 2020, 9am-6pm
For people who are single, divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, take a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re living on your own or you’re in a relationship.
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