The older I get, the more solitary a being I am. I cherish time with a small circle of friends (one of the results of a nomadic life), my dog, and close family members. And after more than 30 years, I still enjoy my work, now exclusively client sessions via Zoom.
I am a former strong extravert who thrived in the public arena, first in the entertainment industry, and since 1991 as a therapist, coach, educator, radio show host, and TV/media commentator.
For much of my life, I was what one might call a restless soul. I would never have imagined being so content in my own skin and preferring peace and simplicity to a life of continuous motion to the next aspiration and/or location.
My life has been far from perfect. I have had many painful losses, especially over the past 15 years. But I think what has not only sustained me, but enabled me to live most days in a state of gratitude, peace and—most surprisingly—JOY, is the path of the seeker on which I’ve been since the tender age of 13.
Constant examination of the self, of the physical and non-physical worlds, and the continuous pursuit of improvement of them all is not for the faint of heart. It requires a willingness to go deep and embrace ALL of it—the beauty, the accomplishments, the joys, the mistakes, the regrets, the losses, and the pain.
As one of my quests, I had the late, renowned astrologist Haloli Richter read my chart in 1992. As evidenced by my life before and after her reading, Haloli reported that my journey was destined to be a rocky one.
But the most shocking thing Haloli said was that this lifetime was all about my learning to be alone. Now at that time in 1992, I was married with two small children. I was a financially and emotionally dependent wife, terrified at the notion of being alone.
The reading with Haloli faded over time, as did her prophecy about my life lesson of learning to be alone—until 15 years later in 2007.
I had started writing my book, the original title of which was—wait for it—Mastering the Art of Aloneness. I suddenly remembered Haloli’s reading, which fortunately, I had recorded on a cassette tape. I dug it out and gave it another listen. WOW. Either I had subconsciously mainfested her prophecy, or I had simply fulfilled my destiny. I believe it was the latter.
A quote that I often share is one from Robert Frost. He said, “The way out is through”, an insight I believe not only to be true, but a fundamental life key.
Avoiding that which is ultimately designed to help you become who you were born to be catalyzes the same painful lessons over and over, until we receive them as the wake-up calls they are and embrace what they are trying to get us to learn.
“Going through” is not an easy process, made easier or more difficult depending on the specific lessons one is called upon to learn. But the alternative of not living in the resulting peace and contentment “going through” can bring is a cost that, to me, is simply not worth it.