Doing the Work You Were Born to Do

Even people fortunate enough to have a job in today’s economy are unhappy at work. According to a recent survey by the Conference Board, less than half of American workers experience job satisfaction—the lowest level recorded by the research group in 22 years. The drop in workers' satisfaction is due in part to the worst recession since the 1930s, which has caused more people to accept jobs unsuitable to their skills and experience. But job dissatisfaction has been on the rise for more than two decades—a trend that diminishes people’s quality of life, and can even shorten their lives. Chronic job dissatisfaction increases the risk of burnout, stress, anxiety, and depression—all of which can weaken the immune system and increase susceptibility to illness.

Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients suffering from job dissatisfaction. Symptoms range from decreased motivation or boredom, to more serious forms like depression, anxiety, headaches, intestinal problems, back pain, or poor job performance leading to termination.

While today’s economy has exacerbated job dissatisfaction, the twenty-two-year decline in workers’ happiness indicates a deeper issue. Many people are unhappy at work because they never learned how to choose a career that’s the right fit with who they are. With over 600 career choices, it’s no wonder that people find choosing a profession overwhelming and stressful. And because they don’t know how to align what they do with their strengths and interests, they often end up in the wrong careers. Perhaps they had an internship that morphed into a job, followed a parent into a family business, chose jobs based on money or others’ expectations, or fell into a career because they didn’t know what else to do.

Below are some questions you can ask yourself to get greater clarity about the career that best leverages your personality, strengths, and passions, and will make going to work a joy, instead of a daily source of dread.

What are my innate qualities? A job that requires you to work against your nature is stressful and painful. For example, if you’re naturally innovative, but your work is concentrated on routine tasks, you’ll feel bored and unfulfilled. Or if you’re people-oriented but you spend your day alone in your office, the lack of human interaction can make you depressed. Everyone has innate personality traits, and it’s important to know your own. A great resource is the MBTI personality assessment, based upon the work of Dr. Carl Jung.

What are my strengths? Strengths are things that you not only do well, but that you also enjoy doing. I have a career coaching client right now who’s a Partner at one of the world’s top consulting firms. Although he’s very successful and skilled in his job, it’s work he disdains and feels desperate to discontinue. To identify your strengths, make a list of every skill and area of expertise you have. Then go through the list and check off each one that you not only do well, but that you also truly enjoy using.

What are my interests? Work that ignites your passions makes your job interesting and exciting. Notice what moves you, what interests you, or what you often daydream about. Maybe you’re always trying to get your friends to recycle. Or you spend all your free time sailing, baking, or building furniture. Or you’re moved to tears by stories about human or animal rights. To start identifying your passions, make a list of 5 things that often capture your attention or invoke strong feelings inside of you.

What contribution do I want to make in the world? Your contribution is the overall impact you’d like to achieve. In my own career, I do a variety of things. I coach individual clients, host a radio show, facilitate workshops, consult to companies, and give keynote presentations. But the underlying contribution in all of these activities is helping people liberate their potential and achieve their goals. To identify your contribution, ask yourself: If I were fearlessly living my ideal life and expressing my full potential, what contribution would I most want to make?

Answering these questions can be challenging, especially if you’ve lived life based on others’ expectations. In this case, you may need to get out and experience new things to get more information about your strengths and interests. Aligning what you do with who you are requires commitment, effort, and perseverance. But the rewards are well worth it. Not only will it enhance the quality of your life, it may even prolong it.  

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2010 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach, host of the LIFE KEYS radio show, and author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. www.laurenmackler.com

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Are You Your Best Friend or Enemy?

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MANY PEOPLE DON’T TREAT THEMSELVES VERY WELL. They break promises to themselves, eat poorly, don’t get enough sleep, are self-critical, or fail to take good care of their bodies. In fact, if most people treated others the way they treat themselves, they wouldn’t have too many friends!

A great technique for treating yourself better is by developing your Inner Nurturing Parent. Imagine you had a little child in your care. You’d make every effort to keep her healthy and safe; to love and support her; to be forgiving of her mistakes, her inevitable slips; and to let her know how precious and important she is. That’s what a loving parent does. Only, in this case, you’re the parent and the child. Below are seven ways to strengthen your own Inner Nurturing Parent, and turn the goal of treating yourself better into daily, living action.

Send loving messages to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you and appreciate who you are.” When you do something well, give yourself a pat on the back. Say: “Great job! I’m so proud of you.” When you’re struggling or feeling low, be supportive by saying: “I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”

Take good care of yourself. A loving parent would make sure you eat right and get plenty of rest, sleep, fresh air, and exercise. Keep yourself healthy and fit. Practicing good self-care is an essential part of this process.

Do nice things for yourself. Get into the habit of doing special things for yourself. Make yourself a cup of tea with the nurturing energy that you’d have when preparing tea for someone you love. Visit the sauna, get a massage, or draw yourself a bath filled with special salts. Linger in it and relax. Make yourself a candlelight dinner—a delicious meal in a special setting. Coddle yourself. Treat yourself as a loving parent would treat you.

Set healthy boundaries with others. Let people know what you want and don’t want. Tell them what’s okay for you and what’s not. If you have a friend who’s always late and you end up waiting for her and feeling annoyed, tell her how you feel. A nurturing parent wouldn’t let someone treat you badly. A loving parent makes sure his or her child’s needs are met.

Become your own advocate. If someone is disrespectful or hurtful to you, speak up. Tell them you don’t want to be spoken to that way. If someone was unkind, hostile, or verbally abusive to your child, you’d stand up for him. Protect yourself as a nurturing parent would protect you.

Believe in yourself. A nurturing parent would highlight your uniqueness, tell you how special you are, encourage you to build on your strengths, and support you in a loving, nonjudgmental way. A nurturing parent says: “You can do it.” “I believe in you.” Become your strongest supporter, coach, and cheerleader.

And lastly and most important: Be compassionate with yourself. Have compassion for your humanity and your flaws. You’re human and you’re going to make mistakes. Look at yourself through the eyes of a loving parent; don’t punish or criticize yourself. Reassure yourself. Comfort yourself. Accept yourself unconditionally. And show that same compassion for your own parents and others, because they, too, are human.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2010, 2014 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach, speaker, and author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. www.laurenmackler.com

 

LIFE KEYS Moves to Contact Talk Radio!

People around the world know Lauren as host of the popular LIFE KEYS radio show, a frequent expert on CNN, and author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. In April, 2009 Lauren's LIFE KEYS show debuted on Hay House Radio, heard by 1 million listeners internationally.

On September 13, 2010 LIFE KEYS moves to Contact Talk Radio. Intelligent and compassionate, people around the world turn to Lauren for answers to tough questions about their personal lives, relationships, and careers. You can hear the live show for free every Monday, from noon-1pm Eastern, 9-10am Pacific at www.contacttalkradio.com.

Questions for Lauren? Call during the live show at 877.230.3062 toll-free for on-air coaching !

8/31/10: Life Keys Radio Show with Lauren

In this final Life Keys episode on Hay House Radio, Lauren will be taking your calls from the top of the hour, providing practical keys to help you move beyond the layers of your Conditioned Self, liberate your innate potential, and become the magnificent person you were born to be. Tune in to the Life Keys radio show at 3pm ET, 12pm PT at Hay House Radio.  Have a question? Call Lauren toll-free during the live show in the US and Canada at 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

Lauren Recommends: The Big Book of You

The Big Book of You by Jennifer McLean

The Big Book of You by Jennifer McLean is about recognizing your human flaws, while celebrating your magnificence and strengths. With raving endorsements from many best-selling authors, this book is creating a buzz and changing peoples lives! To order your copy and receive free gifts from me and many other thought leaders, click here.

8/24/10 Life Keys Show: The Art of Self-Empowerment

We’re all born with innate power, but it’s often diminished by the role modeling and environment we’re exposed to growing up. In this Life Keys episode, Lauren shares practical tips and strategies for reclaiming and expressing your power in your own life and out in the world. Tune in to the Life Keys radio show every Tuesday at 3pm ET, 12pm PT at Hay House Radio through August 31, 2010.  Have a question? Call Lauren toll-free during the live show in the US and Canada at 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

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Lauren's Interview - Job Hunting on the Sly

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Job-hunting and interviewing for new positions while still employed full-time can be tricky. But in the increasingly competitive job market today, it's more common for employees to be constantly on the lookout for a more promising offer.

The sensitivity of job-hunting while employed--and keeping the process under wraps--varies from industry to industry. Dr. Robert Trumble, professor of management and director of the Virginia Labor Studies Center at Virginia Commonwealth University, says that it can also depend on the corporate culture. "In some, it could be the kiss of death," he says, while other fields such as the tech industry, where talent is at a premium and individual skills are highly appreciated, fielding outside offers is expected.

Lauren Mackler, a career and life coach and author of Solemate, frequently advises clients about how to best seek out new opportunities while holding a full-time job. Here are her top tips:

"To minimize risk of losing your current job control to whom and how your resume and cover letter are circulated," she says. Mackler advises against posting your resume publicly on job sites, as it makes it more likely that it will be spotted by your current employer. "When you do submit your resume let people know you're doing so confidentially, as you're still currently employed," she continues. Instead of letting a friend or a colleague submit your resume to a hiring manager or an inside company contact, request the person's contact information and submit your resume and cover letter yourself and use the person's name who referred you, Mackler suggests.

On the topic of confidentiality, Mackler adds that any contact information listed on your resume should be personal--personal e-mail, personal cell numbers, etc., and you should never include any contact information that's linked to your current employer. Running the risk of being contacted at work is bad form, she counsels.

Once your resume has made it through the preliminary screening, Mackler suggests you don't jump at any interview opportunity thrown your way. "Only take time off from your job to interview for positions in which you're seriously interested. The minute you start interviewing for a new job you're putting your current employment at risk," she cautions. The corporate arena can be a small world, and news could get back to your supervisor's office before you do.

Job hunting on the sly can involve the panicked closing of browser windows to keep your resume and applications from the eyes of supervisors, but in some instances, getting caught can work to your advantage. Ashley Campbell, then a mid-level producer at an ad agency in Boston, found herself in an awkward situation that turned out surprisingly well. "I had my boss on a project looking over my shoulder at something, I was clicking out of windows to get to a website build I was showing her, and boom! There was my resume." Click here to read the entire article by Meghan Casserly on Forbes.com.

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Solemate Workshop at Omega: 10/15-17, 2010

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Many people long for an ideal partner, a “soul mate” to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. This program is about mastering the art of aloneness, but it’s not about being alone. With a groundbreaking road map to help you achieve mastery of your own life, you can experience a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship. Based on Lauren Mackler’s Solemate book, this weekend is about becoming the person you were born to be and shedding old beliefs and behaviors that limit your ability to realize your greatest potential. Topics include

Uncovering your conditioned and authentic self Managing fear so it doesn’t manage you Living deliberately versus by default Reclaiming your innate wholeness Becoming the partner you seek Building an inner and outer support system Creating and achieving your life vision

Young Woman Standing with Arms Stretched Out The workshop is designed for women and men who are single or divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.

October 15-17, 2010 Omega Institute Rheinbeck, NY

Click here for more information.

Lauren Recommends: Inspiration Deficit Disorder

Inspiration Deficit Disorder By Jonathan Ellerby Many of the challenges people face today—stress, job dissatisfaction, depression, and addiction—are often symptoms of an inspiration deficit disorder, the result of being disconnected from our natural wisdom, talent, and sense of what matters most. Inspiration Deficit Disorder: The No-Pill Prescription to End High Stress, Low Energy, and Bad Habits presents inspiration as a choice, and provides practical tools to correct an “inspiration imbalance” faster than you think! To order the book and receive gifts from me and other leading thought leaders, click here.

8/10/10 Life Keys Show: The Path of Least Resistance

Do you find yourself habitually arguing, challenging, or resisting people and situations around you? Learn how to stop resisting and start cooperating with the people and situations in your life! In this episode, Lauren talks about the path of least resistance as a practical pathway to greater joy, inner peace, and harmony with the world around you. Tune in to the Life Keys radio show every Tuesday at 3pm ET, 12pm PT at Hay House Radio through August 31, 2010.  Have a question? Call Lauren toll-free during the live show in the US and Canada at 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

Lauren Recommends: Choosing Easy World

Choosing Easy World by Julia Rogers Hamrick Choosing Easy World: A Guide to Opting Out of Struggle and Strife and Living in the Amazing Realm Where Everything is Easy is a transformational and new paradigm for daily living. The book clarifies the internal conspiracy that keeps you from living a life of ease and joy, and provides practical keys to override the self-defeating forces that keep you trapped in the world of struggle and difficulty, with your dreams always just beyond your reach. To order the book and receive bonus gifts from me and many other thought leaders, click here.

Lauren Recommends: SuperCompetent

SuperCompetent: The Six Keys to Perform at Your Productive Best By Laura Stack In this competitive economy, just being able to do your job is no longer enough. Competence is expected; you’ve got to be Super Competent to get a leading edge. Whether you’re an employee, an entrepreneur, or a CEO, SuperCompetent gives you proven methods to reach your and your organization’s maximum potential and achieve breakthrough results. Order the book on or after August 9th and receive gifts from me and many other leading thought leaders. To order, click here.

8/3/10 Life Keys Show: Key to Transformation

Many people invest countless dollars in therapy, coaching, or other modalities that fail to produce lasting results. In this riveting episode, Lauren talks about the three most effective modalities for helping people break free of self-defeating patterns, and achieving change in their personal lives, relationships, and careers. Tune in to the Life Keys radio show every Tuesday at 3pm ET, 12pm PT at Hay House Radio through August 31, 2010.  Have a question? Call me toll-free during the live show in the US and Canada at 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

Lauren on Relationship RX Radio

Lauren is interviewed by Relationship RX host, Lisa Hayes. In this enlightening interview, Lauren lifts the social stigma of aloneness and provides a groundbreaking roadmap for gaining mastery of your life, so you can achieve a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship. Mastering the art of aloneness is not about being alone. It’s about treating yourself well, shedding your self-defeating patterns, and becoming the person you were born to be. Rather than depend on someone else to complete you, Mackler suggests “becoming the partner you seek”—your own cherished solemate. Click here to listen.

5 Steps to Getting Unstuck

Feeling stuck or unable to accomplish your goals? Change can be difficult, and many people lose motivation to achieve their goals. When you slip up, just think of it as course-correcting. Welcome the challenge—it means that you’re taking charge of your life! Don’t judge yourself. Instead, treat yourself with compassion, and determine what’s needed to get back on course. Below are some pitfalls people encounter and practical strategies to override them.

Prioritize and focus. If you feel overwhelmed, you may be trying to achieve too much at once. Step back and look at your goals. If you’re doing too much, it’s time to reprioritize. Maybe you need to work on two goals instead of three. Or maybe one of your goals requires a lot of steps, so it’s taking up all your energy. Identify the goals that are most important to you. If you need to, just focus on one goal at a time and don’t move on to the next one until the first one is complete.

Encourage yourself. People become discouraged when they listen to their “inner critic”—the voice that says: “You’ll never make it.” “It’s hopeless.” “This is too hard.” Whatever that voice is saying, articulate a response, drawing from the part of you that feels strong and confident. Be your own cheerleader. Review your accomplishments; remind yourself of what you’re capable of doing and being. Instead of focusing on the old voice that drags you down, actively support and listen to the part that believes you can achieve what you want.

Solicit support from others. You’re more likely to slip up when you’re trying to accomplish your goals by yourself. It may be that you don’t have an outer support system in place to help you maintain focus and provide the external encouragement everyone needs. Outer supports might include a trusted friend, a coach or therapist, or a support group. Avoid situations that trigger sabotaging patterns. For example, if you eat junk food when you’re feeling lonely, scheduling activities with others will help you bypass the old trigger and remain on-course.

Practice good self-care. Taking good care of yourself is key to achieving your goals. A lack of energy typically relates to a failure to sustain your inner support system, which provides the physical, emotional, and mental energy needed to achieve your goals. If you’re eating poorly, neglecting your health, or living a high-stress lifestyle, you’re depleting your inner resources. That will make it difficult to maintain the energy you need to participate fully and actively in your life.

Love and respect yourself. If you don’t have a loving relationship with yourself, it’s hard to sustain the motivation to take action and make good choices for yourself. Loving yourself compels you to make lifestyle choices that make you feel good and generate the results you want. If you feel unmotivated, revisit your relationship with yourself and make a conscious effort to treat yourself with respect, love, and compassion—just like you would treat a close and cherished friend.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2010 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a coach and host of the Life Keys radio show on Hay House Radio. She’s the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. www.laurenmackler.com

Life Keys Radio 7/20/10: Life Management 101

The demands on our time and energy are at an all-time high. One of the greatest barriers to life balance is finding time to organize and maintain an effective life management system. Lauren shares concrete strategies to reduce stress, and achieve a greater sense of balance, confidence, and accomplishment. Tune in to the Life Keys radio show every Tuesday at 3pm ET, 12pm PT at Hay House Radio. Have a question? Call me toll-free during the live show in the US and Canada at 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

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