Many people don’t treat themselves very well as their default. And in times of stress—in a global pandemic, for example—even those who are normally self-disciplined may find their self-care practices waning. They break promises to themselves, eat poorly, don’t get enough sleep, are self-critical, or fail to take good physical care of their bodies.
A great technique for treating yourself better is by developing what I call your Inner Nurturing Parent. Imagine you had a little child in your care. You’d make every effort to keep her healthy and safe; to support her; to be forgiving of her mistakes, to make sure she gets healthy food and exercise; and to let her know how loved and cared for she is. That’s what a loving parent does. Only, in this case, you’re the parent and the child. Here are some practical ways to strengthen your own Inner Nurturing Parent, and turn the goal of treating yourself better into daily, living action in 2020 and beyond.
Send loving messages to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you and appreciate who you are.” When you do something well, give yourself a pat on the back. Say, “Great job! I’m so proud of you.” When you’re struggling or feeling low—which may be more often now than under normal circumstances—be supportive by saying, “I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”
Do nice things for yourself. Get into the habit of doing special things for yourself. Make your bed each morning, brew a pot of tea, and do household tasks with the nurturing energy that you’d have when doing these things for someone you love. Take a walk in nature, cook a pot of yummy soup, or draw yourself a bath filled with special salts. Coddle yourself. Treat yourself as a loving parent or partner would treat you.
Set healthy boundaries with others. Let people know what you want and don’t want. Tell them what’s okay for you and what’s not. If you have a friend who’s being unsupportive or critical, tell him how you feel. A nurturing parent wouldn’t let someone treat you badly. A loving parent makes sure his or her child’s needs are met.
Believe in and support yourself. A nurturing parent would highlight your uniqueness, tell you how special you are, encourage you to build on your strengths and support you in a loving, nonjudgmental way. A nurturing parent says, “You can do it.” “I believe in you.” Become your strongest supporter and cheerleader.
Be compassionate with yourself. Have compassion for your humanity and your flaws. You’re human and you’re going to make mistakes. Look at yourself through the eyes of a loving parent; don’t punish or berate yourself. Reassure yourself. Comfort yourself. Accept yourself unconditionally. And show that same compassion to others, because they, too, are human.
Practice physical self-care. A loving parent would make sure you eat well and get plenty of rest, sleep, fresh air, and exercise. Keep yourself healthy and fit. Practicing good self-care is an essential part of this process. For more ideas and a great resource for helping you build a strong immune system and physical health, visit FitnessVolt.com.
