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This month marks the one-year Solemate anniversary and the April 15, 2010 release of the brand-new paperback edition! I want to thank all the people who made Solemate an international bestseller and helped to spread its message across the world. And I’m thrilled to announce that Solemate will also be released in French, Chinese, and Vietnamese!
In celebration, I gathered some of the feedback I’ve received from Facebook fans and Amazon reviewers. It’s been an amazing journey over the past year, and I’ve been happy to hear from people who have used the mastering the art of aloneness roadmap to transform their relationship with themselves and others, and improve their lives. I feel very blessed to be able to share my experiences and insights with people all around the world.
What has your journey to mastering the art of aloneness been like? How have you used the Solemate roadmap to change your life? Post your Solemate experience on my blog to enter to win a signed copy of the new Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life paperback!
Amazon Book Reviews
Solemate Hits Home! by Jeanne Bryan
The first 2/3rds of this book really helped me dig deeper into my relationship with myself, and I will definitely "work it" several times more because of the benefits I've reaped. Mackler pulls from good/trustworthy psychological resources, and has a knack for condensing it down for easier absorption. She is a "hands-on teacher" who urges you to keep a record of your progress. I hate to admit it, but her pushing kept me focused and moving forward.
The last few chapters, which address "Action Steps" to create external "support systems", were a bit advanced for me. The progress is necessarily slower than the read. But I think that's natural and a good challenge to have. Because of Mackler's warm writing style and delivery, I will keep this book and my journal fully active in my life.
With the help of my therapist, I'm still processing the earlier sections of the book - which are essential in order to fully move into the last chapters. So...like everything good in life, this "mastering the art of aloneness" takes time. With Lauren Mackler as a virtual friend, urging me on...someone who lived through this and came out the other side...I am in good company. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to master self love.
I love this book! A must read! by wmson75
What a wonderful book! I feel that this is a must read book for everyone regardless of age, gender, or relationship status. Yes, with the clever title, one might think it is only for people looking for a relationship, or looking to better the one that he or she is presently in, and, it is. However, it is truly a book for anyone looking to make positive, and lasting changes in his or her life. I am a happily married mother of two young boys, who works part-time, and this book has truly changed how I live my life day to day, how I interact with those around me, how I parent my children, and how I treat myself.
This book is tremendously insightful, and very well written. It is filled with a compilation of all of the tools (as well as the theories behind them) to take concrete, doable actions to move forward in your life and to live true to who you are. I think that so many of us know that we want "more" yet we don't always know what that "more" is, why we want "more", and how to get "more" out of our lives. Many of us just walk around doing the same old thing day in and day out, or as Lauren Mackler calls it, living life by default. She gives us the tools to live a more deliberate life, one that we have outlined for ourselves, and one that is more in line with our authentic selves.
What I love about this book is that it truly gave me a comprehensive step-by-step guide for personal transformation. I found that the book broke things down into manageable pieces for me to read, with corresponding exercises/activities for me to do. Each one built upon the next one, and at the end of the book, I had a life vision statement that empowered me, excited me, and energized me. And, even better, it is realistic!
I also love that Lauren Mackler is upfront about this work. She reminds readers that this is a process, not something to be achieved overnight, and not something that comes along merely by positive thinking alone (although she does use visualization). Yet, this work is transformative, and its results are life changing and long lasting.
I have given this book to many people (I can't bear to loan mine out as I reference it a lot!), and they have all loved it as much as I have.
Must read for everybody - single or attached. Great book!
This is a must read for anybody, single or attached; to really understand your past and what is keeping you from becoming the person you were "meant to be". It is well-written and a good read as Lauren Mackler shares her own experiences and introduces her clients' stories. It's about becoming the partner you seek. Mackler is very compassionate in this topic, and gives readers practical step-by-step exercises at the end of each chapter. Mackler writes that if you discover "the person you really are beneath the layers of your life conditioning--and living in a conscious and deliberate way so you can achieve the results that you want from life and feel complete and happy on your own." She clearly articulates what I have been feeling. I always believed that feeling happy is a process which takes focus, strategy, and commitment. Mackler is very resourceful in giving great advices on keeping focus and sustaining a commitment. Her book made me feels reenergized to focus on my vision and work towards that goal. I recommend this book as a gift to yourself and also friends!
Should be a must read for everyone!, By A. Mansky "Bookluver444"
This book is a fantastic, well-written, and well organized book. I would highly recommend this book for everyone, single or not. I have read countless books in the self-help genre but none of the books get to the core of the human issues as clearly as this book does. I read it in three days and plan to do all of the exercises. I have numerous books on manifesting love but as Mackler expresses in her book, how can you manifest love if you have a unconscious block. This book clearly helps the reader get to the root of those unconscious blocks. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book.
"If your energy is being expended in staying safe - in avoiding failure, rejection, physical harm, and emotional pain by avoiding the people, places, and situations that trigger your fears-then that energy is tied up in your vigilance to stay safe instead of in fulfilling your potential." Page 78
"If you make finding a soul mate the main focus of your life-and many people do-then if he or she fails to show up, you may spend many days or months or years waiting for a happy and fulfilling life instead of living it." Page 32
Thanks for writing this terrific book, Lauren. It is a Godsend.
Solemate Is Where The Action Is By Beth M.
Lauren Mackler's book, "Solemate," provides a totally new and thoughtful point of view about shedding self-limiting barriers, becoming complete with yourself and learning that aloneness is a happy place, if I allow it. I have a whole new perspective on walking into a room all by myself. I realize that my joy, confidence and self worth comes from within - it's a stream of plenty that I can always tap into. I recommend this to everyone - in or out of relationship.
I am reviewing this tho I am only 1/2 way through the book By Amazon.com-lover
Sorry if that bothers some readers, but I had to comment now, because even half way through the book I have felt empowered and inspired living a single life. I will add an update when done with this book, but so far I am very happy with what I have read- even though I am not ashamed of being single not at all!, this book has helped give me more structure for those beliefs...that we singles, especially women who are very pressured into relationships by society, are whole and valid members of the world. Dont singles now outnumber marrieds in the US census? I just think for me, it has been a myth, the pressure to find that one and only. I do believe in love and relationships but I do not believe that a person who is single is inferior or is without love in his or her life. There is incredible freedom and joy and an alternative way of life in being alone and I am learning to embrace it, without "waiting" for prince charming to be happy. If that happens, I will go where that relationship goes, but in the Now, I am happier and living more fully.
I hope this is helpful. We are all works in progress!
inspiring By Eileen C. Bolduc "mammy of four"
The book was very well written and spoke to me throughout every chapter. Solemate was interactive just enough to open my eyes to the realization that aloneness can be just as peaceful and fulfilling as I choose to make it be. Nothing compares to a day with my grandchildren but setting goals and having a long term plan for myself created a sense of awareness of my emotions and their origin. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and will research more writings of Lauren Mackler.
A great book! By Babs
This is a really compelling read. I think it will help many people untie the knots they've carried within themselves throughout their lives. And who can resist that clever title!
Facebook Fans’ Feedback Robert Chun Qiao Like most of the readers of your books and listeners of your radio show, I was and am still at times one of them who is desperate for a relationship for all the wrong reasons, such as peer pressure, traditional family values and so on. I tried to look for it, to pray for it and to want it badly in my heart, it just didn't come. The failure of being able to obtain what I was longing for had really been detrimental to my already low self-esteem... My spiritual journey started in 2009. As a person who had never given or received a Valentine's Day gift, I decided to make a change last year, which was 2009, to be my own Valentine; after all, my guts and my souls are the closest lovers that i could depend on and spend my life with. I purchased a greeting card and wrote the loving words that I always desired for from a lover. I cropped two images which contained the physical attributes of my ideal mates and stick them on my vision board. In addition, my daily affirmation to myself about how tolerant and acceptive of I am to myself really helped pump up my hope. I'm still learning, hopeful and living my Canadian dream. As long as I, not try, but do my best at the end of the day, I'm at peace. We got to love ourselves first, before we're able to love others. The commercialization of our world only contributed to materialism, which somewhat has become a synonymous of what love is. We got to learn to distance ourselves from the false pretenses of messages and just let go and be in the flow of life. Thanks Ms. Lauren Mackler for your personal response to my post. Marilyn Swart While operating within the mental construct of romance it is very hard for both persons to actually be empowered. Usually one person is more empowered than the other. If both are "committed" to individual empowerment in the truest sense, it can be a grand adventure. It is very hard to be yourself if you are wearing the masks of the emotional dynamics called: Prince and Princess. The day inevitably comes where you realize you are no longer in an Ivory Tower. After taking off the mask, you are indeed alone... but sovereign, whole, and royal in a broader way. THAT becomes your new crown!
Sonya LLoyd.....i have just read your book twice it has helped me so much! Thank you for writing it.......its a life changing read :)
Linda Guariglio I can so relate with this topic! 20 yrs ago I found myself divorced and alone. I lost my daughter, my house, and financial security. First, I had to find myself again...the single person. As I figured out who that was, my new life began! Now I look at the experience as a God's way of telling me there were other things for me to do in this
lifetime. I've learned to do things by myself and for myself (always listening to my angels), which empowers me in so many ways. I have just now reached a point in time where I feel I'm ready to share my world with a loving man with like interests for adventure! To your listeners....learn to love yourself FIRST! Remember who you were BEFORE the breakup or the event that left you alone. That person is STILL THERE!!! Joni T Strickfaden Your book and radio show are FABULOUS... God Bless your work... you helped me tremendously, ALONE and Growing!
Wendy Costa Just bought your book and I am loving it!!!!
Carrie Helft Goodman I just wanted to thank you again with all my heart for what you did for me at "I can do it" in Tampa...You and your book has been what I have been missing in my healing Journey. Thank you for pulling up that Imaz sized screen in front of me, which forced my internal Carrie to see and hear what the world sees in me and ...I have been unable to see in myself...My journey has been long and winding and I know will continue to be that way for a while..but I am so grateful to say..moving foward...God Bless you and the Miracles you brought out in me and will continue to do so as I do the work in your book...Thanks for being a precious gift in all our lives!!!!!
Cledra McCullers I have to agree Carrie. It has been incredible the progress I've made "driving" since I got back from Tampa. When the 7 year old got out of the drivers seat life started changing pretty quickly. Also thanks for making your book available for Kindle download! Makes it airport friendly for me for sure.
Gigi Flowers I loved your show on Hayhouse regarding Demystifying Romantic Chemistry! Wow, I have your book, Solemate, along with other books that have helped me on my journey and healing from dysfunctional relationships and am sooo much better now. EVERYTHING you say I relate to and from that show, the part about emotionally aloof and narcissistic men are ones who I chose and yes, I am aware of this and know that I am a warm and emotionally stable and open woman who deserves better. Thank you.
Becky Thomas Thank you so much for this weekend. It was amazing. I am so excited to continue my journey with a new perspective, finally, I see opportunities instead of obstacles. Thank you for that!!! Be Well, Becky.
Heather Macdonald LaMarre I am a joyful, confident, self-sufficient woman.... who is spending time each day working to crystallize my vision... thanks for sharing your experience, knowledge, encouragement, and love...
Rick Zlotziver Thank you so much for an awesome workshop. LOVED IT! I am ending a relationship and it was great to hear your insight and personal experience through your own life challenges. I am looking forward to hearing you speak again and just started reading your book. Thanks again! Rick Z
Cledra McCullers Your workshop at the I CAN DO IT conference was life changing for me! SO glad to hear you're going to start a coaching workshop. I felt the "click" I've been looking for. AWESOME JOB!!!!!! Hope you're back for 2010.
Cheryll Dossas Hi Lauren, I'm a huge fan of yours here in Boston. I've been to Living Fearlessly and Solemate workshops. I just wanted to share a message I received on FB from a friend of mine who lives in Colorado -Lania DeMers Cheryll, thanks for the book recommendation. I learned a LOT from Lauren Mackler! ♥
Rinda Aiu God Bless all of you at the Conference and Thank you Lauren for all you do to help heal the world!!!!!!!!!!!
Michele Hammond excellent god bless you, sweet soul, I love the way ur grace reaches out to touch people to enlighten there souls.
Joni T Strickfaden I'll be reading your book again... today! I am appreciating my alone time! My friend (58 yr, PhD, married, Dean of Architecture) was killed in a car by a texting driver... life is too short to worry. Thank you for your book that inspires and appreciates wherever you are! I will be devouring your book Solemate on my travels this week... i love it! "Solemate" is fabulous...daahling! Namaste
Susie Black Today this is more appropriate than ever, Lauren! Thank you!!! I brought Solemate with me on a trip, and it is time to read a few chapters!
Elisabeth Pacheco hi Lauren i've been trying to find your book soulmate, i haven't had much luck. i think it would be beneficial to myself and other women in my life. i've already have a list of people who want it. can you please let me know where i can purchase it. Liz from Toronto.
Anne White Johnston I love the idea of "mastering the art of aloneness", always have. I am so glad to hear you support and discuss it. I hope you are a huge success on hayhouse, I don't want to lose the ability to hear you.
Deborah McLernon Hi Lauren, Loving your book! - a wonderful tool to help transform your life. Great show on Hay House too. Look forward to listening to your show from Bonnie Scotland!
Kelly Jad'on Thanks Lauren! Soulmate is a wonderful book--written from the author's heart! Edifying reading for everyone. If you have the chance to meet Lauren Mackler, do so.
Kathy Murch McCarthy Hi Lauren - I bought your book and am really enjoying it! It's on my Kindle and am thinking about also getting it as a "real book" so I can share it with other. I hope you are well! Kathy Murch McCarthy (fellow dogscooper - Ozzy's Mom)
Jo Kosewski Just ordered your book, both for me and for the women who signed up for Argentina. Looking forward to reading it.
Ann Marie Danahy MacKinnon Started reading your book SoleMate.....what a fantastic accomplishment...I will highly recommend it to clients.....Best of luck with all your success!