How to Be More Resilient

How to Be More Resilient

Do you sweat the small stuff or feel chronically stressed? If so, you’re not alone. According to a 2022 survey by the American Insitute of Stress, 87 percent of respondents reported finding the increased cost of day to day necessities like groceries, gas, and electricity to be a major source of stress.

Stress is an emotional and physical reaction caused by our responses to life challenges. There is no universally accepted definition of stress and each person reacts differently, based on their innate personality traits, experiences, childhood conditioning, and role models. What is overwhelming for one person may be exciting to another, while that same situation may have little impact on someone else.

Upcoming Webinars

Upcoming Webinars

The Art of Interpersonal & Emotional Intelligence, 10/20/22, 7pm-8:30pm ET - Learn how to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries in ways that strengthen and preserve your relationships with others. Expand your interpersonal skill set in this powerful webinar with Lauren Mackler, world-renowned coach, CNN commentator, best-selling author of Solemate and co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey. Lauren will teach you how to gain mastery of your emotions, communicate clearly and effectively, and manage differences in ways that invoke others’ respect, defuse conflict, and produce the outcomes you want in your personal life, relationships, and at work.

Parenting Your Adult Child

Parenting Your Adult Child

I read recently that, "Someday your children will figure out who you are." For most responsible and loving parents that concept poses no threat. We believe that if our intentions are good, and we do our best to meet our kids' needs in childhood, they will treat us with love, respect, and care as adults.

But the reality can be a different scenario. Research by Karl Pillemer, a Cornell University professor and sociologist, revealed that one in four American adults are estranged from their families. This doesn't include those who haven't totally cut contact, but have only minimal interaction.

MOVING BEYOND A BREAK-UP WEBINAR

MOVING BEYOND A BREAK-UP WEBINAR

MOVING BEYOND A BREAK-UP OR DIVORCE WEBINAR, 8/13/22, 10am-11:15am: Are you struggling to move forward from a break-up or divorce? Join renowned coach Lauren Mackler, CNN commentator, best-selling author of Solemate and co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey. This online event provides individuals who are going through—or have gone through—the pain of a break-up with support to heal the wounds of separation or divorce, learn about the “hidden” factors which contribute to break-ups, and avoid repeating limiting patterns of the past in a future relationship or marriage.

Should You be Friends with Your Ex?

Should You be Friends with Your Ex?

When is the right time or when are you in the right place to forge a friendship with your ex?

If you’re parents, it’s always in your children’s best interest to co-parent in a friendly and mutually-respectful manner. Divorce is always painful. When one parent demeans the other in front of their children it can create life-long emotional wounds. If need be, seek out a therapist or coach to help you devise a co-parenting plan and develop effective communication skills. Ask yourself, “What’s more important—my anger and resentment or the health and well-being of my children?”

In situations without children, if one person still has romantic feelings or the desire to get back together and their ex doesn’t feel the same, friendship usually doesn’t work. The one longing to be a couple continuously feels rejected, which invokes feelings of guilt, frustration, and/or resentment in the other.

What are You Creating, Promoting or Allowing?

What are You Creating, Promoting or Allowing?

You create many of your life experiences—although you may be unaware of the role you play in their creation. There are three ways we generate our experiences: creating, promoting, and allowing. I first heard this concept at a workshop, and it’s a valuable tool for recognizing the role you play in creating your life. By looking at events through this lens, you can see how your actions influence them.

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Events

MOVING BEYOND A BREAK-UP OR DIVORCE WEBINAR, 8/13/22, 10am-11:15am: Are you struggling to move forward from a break-up or divorce? Join renowned coach Lauren Mackler, CNN commentator, best-selling author of Solemate and co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey. This online event provides individuals who are going through—or have gone through—the pain of a break-up with support to heal the wounds of separation or divorce, learn about the “hidden” factors which contribute to break-ups, and avoid repeating limiting patterns of the past in a future relationship or marriage.

Putting Self-love in Action

Putting Self-love in Action

MANY PEOPLE DON’T TREAT THEMSELVES VERY WELL. They break promises to themselves, eat poorly, don’t get enough sleep, are self-critical, or fail to take good care of their bodies. In fact, if most people treated others the way they treat themselves, they wouldn’t have too many friends! A great technique for treating yourself better is by developing your Inner Nurturing Parent. Imagine you had a little child in your care. You’d make every effort to keep her healthy and safe; to love and support her; to be forgiving of her mistakes, her inevitable slips; and to let her know how precious and important she is. That’s what a loving parent does. Only, in this case, you’re the parent and the child. Here are seven ways to strengthen your own Inner Nurturing Parent, and turn the goal of treating yourself better into daily, living action.

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Events

THE ART OF RELATIONSHIP WEBINAR, 6/11/22, 10am-11:15am: Tired of conflict with your partner, failed relationships, or feeling like you’re “settling” for less than your ideal partnership? Do you repeat the same relationships patterns over and over again without understanding why? In this eye-opening evening designed for couples and single or divorced individuals, world-renowned coach, CNN relationship expert, and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, presents a pathway to conscious partnership. She demystifies the hidden drivers of romantic chemistry, why relationships either thrive or die, and practical tools for creating a healthy and fulfilling partnership or marriage.

Recipe for Optimal Living

Recipe for Optimal Living

Schedule “Me” Time: Open your calendar and book a date with yourself. Carving out time for yourself is not selfish. It’s impossible to have good relationships with others if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. After work or on the weekend spend time doing a hobby you enjoy or taking a walk in nature. Reflect on your life, assess your needs, or do something that makes you feel good. Take a walk in nature or spend Friday night in your favorite PJ’s with a good movie. Scheduling “me” time is an important part of maintaining healthy physical and mental balance. Making it part of your weekly schedule is a great way to bring self-nurturance and good self-care into your life on an on-going basis.

Mother

Mother

In honor of Mother’s Day, below is a reprint of my article from May, 2020.

Tomorrow will be my sixteenth motherless Mother’s Day. And while it had gotten easier over time, the absence of my mother feels now like a wound opened anew. Exacerbating these feelings are the demise of my fourteen-year-old dog seven weeks ago, day seventy of coronavirus social distancing, and the loss of intimate family relationships—all in the midst of an unprecedented transfiguration of life as we knew it.

With both parents gone, I currently reside full-time on the other side of the parent-child equation. Among other things, this includes my being on the receiving end of behaviors I once directed toward my own parents. As a family-systems-trained psychotherapist and coach, I have seen these types of multi-generational pattern replications frequently in my practice, as well as being an active participant of their playing out in my personal life.

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Events

The Art of Interpersonal & Emotional Intelligence Webinar - May 19, 2022, 7pm-8:15pm via Zoom: Learn how to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries in ways that strengthen and preserve your relationships with others. Expand your interpersonal skill set in this powerful webinar with Lauren Mackler, a world-renowned coach, CNN commentator, best-selling author of Solemate and co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey. Lauren will teach you how to gain mastery of your emotions, communicate clearly and effectively, and manage differences in ways that invoke others’ respect, defuse conflict, and produce the outcomes you want in your personal life, relationships, and at work.

The Art of Healthy Boundaries Webinar

The Art of Healthy Boundaries Webinar

The Art of Healthy Boundaries Webinar, 4/23/22, 10am-11:30am: Many people think that boundaries mean saying no. While it’s important to be able to say no, knowing what you need is equally as important. Boundaries are a tool for letting others know what’s important to you, and critical to sharing healthy and joyful relationships with others. In this Zoom event, world-renowned coach, psychotherapist, CNN commentator, and author of international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, addresses the various types of boundaries for different settings and situations, and how to effectively communicate boundaries in ways that strengthen versus diminish relationships with others.

Infidelity Misunderstood & Mistreated

Infidelity Misunderstood & Mistreated

Cheaters and philanderers are jerks; people who are no-good, contemptible human beings. At least that seems to be the general consensus of many people who judge others’ amorous infidelities.

Before I continue, let me make a couple of things clear. Do I think it’s fine for someone to break a monogamous agreement or engage in unfaithful behavior? No, although it is certainly not uncommon. Do I think it’s okay to put one’s spouse and children in a painful position—and perhaps even continue to do so after expressing regret over an infidelity? No, cheating on a partner not only doesn’t solve someone’s problems, it is deeply injurious and erodes the foundation of trust—which can take years to rebuild, if at all.

The Benefits of Food Planning

The Benefits of Food Planning

Planning meals and snacks in advance has many benefits. Planning helps you optimize your time, reduce stress, and improve your health. Spending less than an hour a day on food preparation often leads to eating more fast food, while spending more time promotes better eating habits, like consuming more fruits and vegetables. A fabulous resource that cuts through the thicket of confusing—and often downright wrong—advice on nutrition and gives you easy-to-digest, scientific information to discover which foods your body needs to thrive, is a book titled, The PlantPlus Diet Solution: Personalized Nutrition for Life, by Dr. Joan Borysenko, a dear friend and fellow Hay House author. As a psychologist and cell biologist—Joan helps you psych out your inner saboteur, and master the dietary changes to which you aspire.

The Myths of Midlife Crisis

The Myths of Midlife Crisis

For many people, midlife can be a significant wake-up call. The midlife transition can begin as early as the age of 30 and as late as 60. Midlife is a time when many people find themselves stepping back and evaluating how they want to live for the rest of their lives. They’ve had the chance to build a life and reap the rewards of their endeavors. As they look toward the second half of their lives, they may find themselves asking: Who am I? What’s the meaning of my life? What do I really want?

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Events

The Art of Emotional Freedom Webinar, 3/26/22, 10am-11:30am: Are you often run by your feelings? In this Zoom webinar, you'll learn about the origins of chronic, toxic emotions, and practical tools to stop their diminishing effect on your life. Whether your emotional “addiction” is to anger, depression, fear, insecurity, or some other emotional pattern, renowned coach and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, will help you better understand the chronic emotions limiting your life, and how to transform them to ones that create a more joyful inner and outer environment.

Recipe for Optimal Living

Recipe for Optimal Living

Spend Time in the Sun! Sun boosts our mood, improves sleep, and promotes vitamin D production in the body. Many people suffer from seasonal affective disorder (a mild form of depression) during the winter months. Sunshine is good medicine. In fact, many mental health professionals prescribe a daily dose of sunlight to people with depression. Sunlight increases blood circulation and the production of white blood cells, which support the immune system and promote a good night’s sleep. Sunlight is also an excellent source Vitamin D, a key nutrient aiding in calcium absorption for strong bones and teeth.

Upcoming Events

Upcoming Events

SOLEMATE: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life Webinar, 2/10/22, 7pm-8:30pm

Many people spend years seeking a “soul mate” to complete them. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Based upon the Solemate book, bestselling author, therapist, and coach Lauren Mackler presents her groundbreaking roadmap to shedding old, self-defeating patterns, achieving mastery of your own life, and experiencing a greater sense of wholeness and joy on your own or in a relationship. This Zoom webinar is designed for people who are single, divorced, or who seek greater independence in their relationship.

Live Each Day as If It's Your Last

Live Each Day as If It's Your Last

Recipe for Optimal Living
One of my favorite quotes from Mahatma Gandhi is, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Too often we go through our days as though they were of infinite supply. We take ourselves and others for granted. Our egos, anger, and resentments are more important than the people we love. We settle for less than our heart’s desire, believing that we always have tomorrow to create a more meaningful and fulfilling life. At a 2005 keynote address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs shared some great advice. He said that one of his daily rituals was to ask himself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

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