Feeling stuck or unable to accomplish your goals? Change can be difficult, and many people lose motivation to achieve their goals. When you slip up, just think of it as course-correcting. Welcome the challenge—it means that you’re taking charge of your life. Don’t judge yourself. Instead, treat yourself with compassion, and determine what’s needed to get back on course.
What would you do if you were fearless? Fear is one of biggest barriers to creating a life aligned with who you really are and the vision to which you aspire. Lauren Mackler, a world-renowned coach and psychotherapist, CNN commentator, and best-selling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, will help you uncover the roots of the fears that keep you stuck and offer practical tools for overriding fear and bringing your dreams and goals to reality.
Below is a question a client recently asked me during a coaching session. Since so many people struggle with setting boundaries, I thought I'd share the question and my suggestions.
Q: I often find myself torn between wanting to be a supportive and good friend, parent, and co-worker by helping others with things that they need, and getting things done for which I'm responsible at home and at work. If I say no to someone in need I feel guilty, but saying yes all the time makes my life very stressful and exhausting. I also don't want to hurt people's feelings or have them think I'm unsupportive. How do I say no and maintain good relationships with people I care about?
A positive and mutually respectful relationship with your boss not only makes going to work more pleasant, it can have a significant impact on your job performance and career. But some managers make this very challenging. Many bosses have never learned effective managerial and leadership skills, so average to bad managers are more the norm than the exception.
Many years ago, I discovered that my then live-in boyfriend (a psychologist and beloved couple’s therapist) was cheating on me with a colleague he knew from work. The affair had begun while my mother was dying, and I accidentally found out about it a month after she passed away. My initial reactions were disbelief and shock, followed by excruciating pain, then morphing into a seething rage from which I didn’t emerge for the next three years.
Lauren Mackler, a world-renowned coach and psychotherapist, CNN commentator, and best-selling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, will help you uncover the roots of the fears that keep you stuck, and offer practical tools for overriding fear and bringing your dreams and goals to reality.
Healthy relationships are critical to our well-being, yet many people never learned the skills to cultivate them. Not all people have what it takes to be supportive, and not all unsupportive people can be avoided—for example, family members and co-workers. But the idea is to identify the qualities that support you, spend time with people who demonstrate those qualities, and, as much as possible, avoid people who are detrimental to your well-being. There are many ways to cultivate healthy relationships, the first of which is to become a supportive friend to others.
Planning meals and snacks in advance has many benefits. Planning helps you optimize your time, reduce stress, and improve your health. Spending less than an hour a day on food preparation often leads to eating more fast food, while spending more time promotes better eating habits, like consuming more fruits and vegetables.
For many people, midlife is challenging and identifying their next steps is an overwhelming and daunting task. In this powerful presentation with Lauren Mackler, a CNN commentator, best-selling author of Solemate and co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey, you will gain practical tools to clarify what you want for your next life chapter and the experiences you seek. Lauren will teach you how to embrace the second act of life as an opportunity to assess where you are, re-evaluate your goals, and create a fulfilling life that you love. 4/28/16 in Brookline, MA. For more info and registration, click here.
Many people end up in dissatisfying careers because they never clarified the “work they were born to do”—work that leverages their innate strengths and passions, and brings purpose to their lives. Renowned coach, CNN commentator, best-selling author of Solemate and co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey, Lauren Mackler, teaches you how to unearth your innate strengths and clarify the work that you were born to do. In Cambridge, MA, 4/23/16. For more info and registration, click here.
Resistance is a natural part of change, which can hinder or terminate movement. Whether it’s an individual or an organization, a system will resist any change perceived as threatening. In companies, people resist in response to fear of losing control or their jobs. They may recognize the need for change, but fear causes them to hold tight to the status quo.
Resistance is energy, the force of which can be overwhelming. Often, we are inclined to manage this force with force. However, although we may overpower our opponent and win the battle, the war will be lost, because we will have foregone the crucial commitment we needed from the other side.
We’re all born with unique personalities, passions, gifts, and strengths that, as we grow up, are often diminished by fear, shame, anger, perfectionism, and other self-defeating patterns. Join renowned coach and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, for this four-day workshop intensive at the world-famous Kripalu Retreat & Yoga Center in beautiful western Massachusetts.
Fear is one of biggest barriers to achieving the vision to which you aspire. Join renowned coach and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, on 2/13 at 10am in Cambridge, MA to uncover the roots of the fears that keep you stuck, and learn practical tools for moving through your fears to bring your dreams and goals to reality! This presentation and book signing also serves as a great intro for anyone interested in Lauren’s upcoming Live Boldly: Liberate Your Authentic Self 4 day workshop at Kripalu 3/10-13, 2016.
Are you more unhappy than happy at work? If so, you’re not alone. According to a study by the Conference Board, more than half of Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs. This is the lowest level ever recorded by the Conference Board in more than 20 years of studying job satisfaction. Research by Lancaster University found that people with low job satisfaction experienced more emotional burnout, reduced self-esteem, anxiety, and depression—all of which, when chronically experienced, can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of physical illness. Emotional and physical costs are not the only price of job dissatisfaction. Lancaster's study showed that depression and anxiety are the most common reasons that people claim long-term sickness benefits.
Lauren’s Interview with Real Simple Magazine's Melanie Mannarino
What did you say the last time someone paid you a compliment? If it was anything other than “Thank you,” keep reading. “Many people feel so uncomfortable with compliments that they’ll put themselves down,” says Lauren Mackler, life/relationship/career coach and author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. “They’ll respond with, ‘Oh this old thing,’ or ‘It’s fake!’” Mackler says you can learn to accept the praise—enjoy it even—and respond accordingly. “Pay attention to your reaction when you’re complimented,” she says. “How do you feel physically and emotionally: Does your face burn? Do you feel embarrassed? That’s your cue to change your story.”
TRUST YOUR INTUITION
Your intuition is your instinctive knowing about whether something’s right or wrong for you. It’s part of your innate human nature and a practical tool for honoring who you really are. To develop your intuition, start paying attention to it. When you have to make a decision, ask yourself: How does this feel for me? Is this what I should be doing? Use your intuition to help you create the life you want and to avoid situations that are detrimental to you.
Many people end up in dissatisfying careers because they never clarified the “work they were born to do”—work that leverages their innate strengths and passions, and brings purpose to their lives. Renowned coach, CNN commentator, best-selling author of “Solemate” and co-author of “Speaking of Success” with Jack Canfield and Stephen Covey, Lauren Mackler, teaches you how to unearth your innate strengths and clarify the work that you were born to do. For more information and registration, click here!
At the New Year, many people make resolutions for change. In fact, many of those resolutions are the same ones year after year! Yours may be to make positive changes in your personal life, improve your partnership or marriage, find a more fulfilling career, or become a better leader.
In my work, I often talk about 3 critical success factors for change. The first one is to Live Boldly, summoning the courage to challenge your status quo and step out your comfort zone. The second is to Live Intentionally, having a clear vision of what you want. The third is to Live Strategically, identifying and taking the actions needed to bring your vision to reality.
These 3 components are interdependent with each other and requirements for achieving any type of change or goal—something that took me quite a while to learn.